When I grow up (and I am still growing )

When I grow up says a little girl I want to be the next Britney

When I grow up says a little boy I want to play for Chelsea

When I grow up said I as a little girl I want to be married by twenty.

Years have gone by and I still have a lot of growing up to do. Just when I think Ive cracked it God shows me another area where I need to grow up. Right now I may want to conquer the publishing world and make an impact too irreversible to deny, minister to the world through my writing and maybe song.... but first let me learn to pray more regularly, fast more regularly, care about others more than I do myself, learn not bear a grudge, learn to be the first to say sorry, exalt God's will in my life more than what I want to do, deal with the unruly desires swirling around in my head like a troubled sea and walk in Gods perfect peace that passes all understanding.
Amen.

This too shall pass

Havent posted anything for over a month because of my very active social life and all those dates that I have been invited out to. Sorry only kidding. Spent a couple of weeks with the flu and then it was one thing or the other.

But glad to report Feb 14 passed without any major event. It was just like all the other ones before it - the day after the 13th and before the 15th. While like many other single women I went about my usual duties while the world celebrated Love - or in those immortal words of Prince Charles when asked when whether he was in love with Princess Di after they got engaged - whatever that means.

God is the ultimate authority on love. The pure kind of love that is higher than the highest pinnacle we can ever think of and is stubborn enough to keep forgiving when we dont deserve it. The kind of love that makes you give away your only precious Son to die for the sin of man.
The kind of love that gets us saved and still keeps on loving us, warts and all.

Then there is the kind of love that we as fallen human beings crave - the love of a another human being. The need for love, affection, a good chat when you come back from work, someone to share your successes and challenges with - someone to love and be loved by. Contrary to what I have been told by many married people that when I pray and fast and really really get deep in the Lord - these erratic desires that seem to increase in intensity around holiday periods just dont simply disappear. Sometimes I wish they did.

I dont think you can ever get so anointed that you forget that you are not just spirit and soul- but that you have a body as well.

I draw consolation in the fact that these facilitating emotions are fleeting- and that in the next couple of days I would have put my desires for home and family on the back burner of the hidden recesses of my mind and put on my cool calm collected mask- the one I let most people see especially when I am in church. Only problem is that - its just as fleeting and all it takes sometimes is a cute baby, a couple walking hand and hand or attending another wedding to bring all those old familiar desires back again.

I am reminded yet again to keep my heart (mind, spirit, soul emotions) with all diligence because from it comes the issues of life.

You see these feelings shall pass-